When Suicide Becomes An Option.


This isn't going to be a tribute article for the death of Robin Williams but this is going to be for everyone who's struggling and isn't happy about their lives and then suicide becomes their option.

Depression. I've been there. I could say that it was one of the darkest hours of my life. I've became independent with the monster within me. I couldn't think straight and all I ever wanted to disappear because I felt worthless and a disappointment to everyone else. Not to brag it out, but I've undergone self-mutilation because the pain I slowly inflict on my skin is the only pain that could comfort the coldness within. It was the pressure of the universe that pushed me to stick on the darker side. People we're expecting too much on me. School. Family. Friends. Society. I was suffocated on how everyone expects me to be. It was like I was living for my someone else until it reached the point that I forgot who I am.

Some people thought that I was selfish and immature because I wasn't thinking about the people who love me and care for me. And so prejudice came along which became an insult to my injury. It made me feel worst and caused me to do the worst things in life that I regret in the present.

I wanted to die. I wanted to disappear. I thought that people will just get over my death and soon will forget my presence. They will all move on. And about hell, I was open to it because I didn't care what will happen to me aftermath. 

Suicide became my option.

It was approximately four years ago when I stumbled on a site where kids could rant and express whatever they want. It was Tumblr. Tumblr was one of the hands that pulled me through my depression state. I discovered teenage kids who were also undergoing the same state as I am. Same feelings. Same un-explainable emotions. Tumblr became our escape to our reality. Tumblr was our therapy.

So everyone in that place (minus the haters and bashers, because we all know that is inevitable) sends comforting messages and sweet messages just to forsake the option of suicide. Everyone made sure that one who feels down shall be given the precious sentiments about life which is worth living. That was the start that everyone became a friend from far across continents. 

I felt relieved. I felt somehow great. It was amazing that the people you didn't expect to be there for you where not the people you get to go with in school or in your place. And that was the time, I disregard suicide as my option of escaping depression.

People should somehow realize that extending our sympathy to someone who is feeling down and hopeless is not enough. One should act on it and spread the love to everyone. One should inspire that on the other side of the world is a beautiful place to live by.

Spend time to talk to your loved ones. Don't just ask them how their day went but also take time to ask how they feel. Even though they know that you are there for them, they still wanted to be asked if there's anything they want to share because it would show that you are willing to lend your ears. Even though you see your friend always smiling and laughing, you still have to ask them if they are okay and sincerely ask on how they are feeling in these past few days.

Yes. The cliche is right that the saddest people are the one you see who's always smiling and making people life. The way they cheer people up is their defense mechanism to compensate the feeling they have inside. It is also their way of wishing that someone could do the same way to in their life.

Suicide is just an option. You still have other choices and why don't you pick up the things that would make you live. In the end, you will still die. Everybody dies, you know.

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