Sadness, being the most comfortable place
People would ask me why I love being sad when sad is the negative aspect of life. But for me, being sad is the most comfortable place I can ever have. No one can harm me except the pain that is clutching beneath my skin. It becomes a monster with in me, the only monster that can understand me. The only monster who can't judge me and constantly hugs me through the nights.
Sadness is the most comfortable place because it soothes the coldness of my heart. I don't have any standard of happiness and brightness to live by because I am already in the darkness. I don't have to fake a smile and fake a laugh. I don't have to wear a mask telling everyone that I am okay. Nobody has the obligation to come upfront of me and comfort me with all the chocolate-coated words a human can have. I can be a paralyze of the society. I can hide in my own dungeon alone with all the cuts and tears I have.
When I am sad, I am sad. I don't have to be happy because once I am on the euphoria, it will just end like watching your favorite movie. I know nobody wants to be sad. I want to be sad. I want to get high with sadness.
Call me selfish, call me coward. I have heard that everything before and it still hurts. It still hurts because the truth hurts. I am embracing the fact that I am no good in this world and the fact that everyone disgusts me.