Taking the free fall.
You are very much aware about the vastness of the universe that will show you all the dimensions of life and its enormity. You know that the fences you built few meters from the cliff shall be destroyed by your body. Your body can betray you and it can somehow unleash your inner demon. You never wanted to happen what has done and right on that very moment when you were building a ladder to the opposite side of your fence, you were on your conscience. You can't consider the lines at the back of your mind right now are regrets because somehow, you liked the feeling. You liked the free fall.
You bent all your headstrong principles that you have since the day you decided to walk away with romance and destiny. You started becoming selfish and only wanting people to feed your satisfaction in the game. It wasn't only fences but you built walls because you know that people would leave you tortured and being used. You alienated yourself from the chaotic world and for you it's the safest zone you can ever have. But someone unexpectedly came.
It was a love-hate tug of war in your heart because you never wanted to take the risk of falling on the wrong side of the cliff and drown yourself in the sea of brokennes. But on the other hand, you don't want to just walk out the door leaving your mess inside his room because you've already tied your soul on his door knob. You don't want to enter another door because you only want him.
It's clearly unfair on how you painted the picture because it's like you came to a battle, putting on the full-gear but not pulling a trigger to waste a single bullet on. But still you are adjusting on how you are going to fight the battle because you are now enetering a very serious situation now. This ain't butterflies in the meadow and flowers in the garden because you've got to fight on what you don't want to lose. You don't want to lose him.
You are taking the free fall. You don't know if you're going to die underwater or you will be able to learn how to swim. You never learned how to swim and you never thought about learning it because you just let yourself die when you're already there. The free fall you had was the best feeling you had. It was a bliss inbetween the cliff and the deep water. The brush of the fast air speed against your cheeks compensated the fear of aftermath. The view of the sky gave you the glimpse of heaven. It was juvenile. But this time you're not facing the sky anymore, you choose to jump off the cliff, face the water because you want to swim and survive everything. You are doing this because you want to reciprocate the greatness of the free fall. You are doing this for him. This is not just a feeling but it is a choice and with out any assurance you think that this is worth fall. If it goes wrong, then he is going to be your sweetest downfall.