The state of mind.
We try to find answers on our questions that we don't know. There are things that cross our mind that we can't understand. There are inevitable circumstances that would happen that are least to be expected. Sometimes, we start imagining things that are from the fantasy world that we are trying to convince ourselves as a reality. I don't understand why there are bliss in our life but eventually fades.
I have thought of so much plans in my mind and I build my dreams. The dreams that I feel it would happen. I am starting to feel those emotions of love that would let me feel that I am the Queen of the world and the Princess of Neotopia. Then, I just starting to feel happy.
But when I fail from having those things, I cry. I drown myself to my tears and feel the pouring rain on my skin. The clutching of pain beneath my flesh makes me grasp the air. I suffocate myself inside the room of no open doors. I am trap in the maze of confusions. And then, I am lost. I don't know where I am.
But I guess, all of those where just a state of mind. At the end of the paragraph, I am the one to be blamed of what is happening to myself. I should not hang my hands on the people because they are just the light post that you'll see on the road. You are the one responsibility of your mind because you are the only one who is controlling your own world. You may have the problem but you also got the solution.